The book

I found a book in my aunts handbag that i just had to check out. It was a old book with dark red leather and notes here and there. It was a book about rituals, but why do my aunt having that in her handbag?

She was eating dinner with us and the grown up was talking about work and a dinner party they was going to had later on. I really wanted to know why she do had the book with her and asked under dinner.

I don't know if the red face i got from her or mym mum and dads silence was worse. But it didnt last for long. They was starting screaming why i know she did have one, why i was even look in her bag and that i was send to my room and had to stay there the rest of the night...

Jack is alive

I have got a letter from Jack, the guy I meet under the nights when I wrote my stories about ghosts etc back in January. He was sorry that he haven't been around for a long time. His family moved and he didn't move with them. He choosed to move to a friend in Stafford. He missed me and our story nights. His friend have show him a new way of living and he is more a night person now then he was before.

He also says that our stories helped him to live his life now and come up from the dark hole he was in before. He also says that I saved his life and thanks for it. I was a bit suprised that he found me but he had the right adress even that I have moved many times under the last months.

Alone

I have never been feeling this alone as I am doing atm. I am going to school and see this empty desk and wondering what happens. There have been five more kids and thier familys that is "missing" and noone knows anything or isn't doing anything to find out what happen. Why do they not look for them.

Thier house and everything in it is missing, the cars etc.. all gone.. What is going on? My parents sound like they all just moved for no reason and its all okay. They probably got a better job somewhere else.. I really don't belive that.

But then we are moving to Spain soon so why not. I still searching for David time to time over the net, he can't just disapear into nothingness.. I know he is out there somewhere...

Missing

I have been trying to contact David when I was back in Germany, but he is nowhere to be found. His whole family seems to have moved out and I am suprised that he haven't told me. My parents don't know anything and thinks it's sad that my friend has moved away. But something saying me that they know more then they telling me.

Why should he move away and not telling me about it? Where has he gone?

The school have no records of him moving away and are saying he is missing, I was even to the polis and they saying they will look into it but the way they said it I don't think they will.

What is wrong with this town?

Going back

I have learn many things from Cecil and my parents want me back in Germany, we are moving to spain soon anyway so I should go back to them before we going to pack it all and move again.

To be in Spain without my parents has been like a real vacation. Not that I don't love my parents, I do. It's just that they are not around that much and I feel like I can't go to thier work to see them. I have learn that wait is a good word when it comes to them these days. I thank Cecil for all I have learn and she drive me to the airport.

When I land a limmo and a driver was waiting for me, not mum or dad. He told me they are working and he will take me home. I sat down in the limmo and have never been so alone as I was now.

I come home and there was food that was ready and no mum or dad.. I was eating alone and then went up to my room, updated my blogg and went to bed. They missed me i hope, atm I don't know...

Tarragona in Spain

Tarragona is the southernmost province in Catalonia, Spain, which also boasts a capital of the same name. Located on the Costa Dorada, Tarragona and its beautiful beaches with golden sand, crystal clear waters and it's really basking in the sun. It was fun to discover the revealing ancient vestiges standing testament to Spain s glorious past, the diverse archaeological complexes and museums spread about the Tarragona province and its capital was perfect for me.

Just to walk around towns like the picturesque Reus or the hectic Salou and discover its important heritage, along with the lifestyle of its hospitable dwellers. From the artistic point of view, there are not many places that have such a large number of monuments and tourist attractions concentrated in such a small area as Tarragona has. That can be a bit hard, spec. when all the tourist was over the place.

Iberian civilization remains are plentiful in the whole region, as well as multiple Roman vestiges, especially in Tarragona city, where I was follow the traces of Rome in the Catalonian region. The splendorous past of the city is enclosed in its several well preserved edifices.

Spain is so much more then Germany! Okay okay.. I memorized what Cecil told me...

Skipped school

Walking in the night is not safe right, not for a young girl like me... Yeah right, there is nothing out there that is more scary then me. I had a bad day in school today. I was trying not to say anything about a guys outfit, but after a while I couldnt help it.

Cecil had left me in school where she worked to go and work in her other work, good choice. I am not a good girl and can't help it. One day in school and offcourse I find myself in a fight with the guys that is the once that "rules".

When they say jump and expect me to jump I was just looking at them and asked who the **** they think they are. So they wanted to learn me a lesson, right it all ended with us all sitting outside Mr. Myrén, the principal office.

And because it was my first day there they wanted to give me a warning but also a punish... I have to write on the board "I will not fight in school" 50 times. What is wrong with this people. Like that will happen. I skipped school and took a day off from all.

Cecil

I have got a girl that I am going to study with when I comes to Spain and thats nice of my parents to fix that. Her name is Cecil and have english and spanish courses and I am going to learn it faster so it says anyway.

She is going to be working as a teacher full time later but atm she is working in a book store and then teach as a hobby. She is a beautiful girl and could make the men drool over her with just a smile. But she don't see her that way and lives alone.

She says she has a dark side and she like to just be living by herself where she is the boss over her own life. To live with someone else makes it hard sometimes.

I took a plane over to see her and we started with the spanish course direct to make it all work faster. She took me out to see spain and madrid and small citys and I even got to meet some of her friends out there. This is a good start. Spain is warm and nice, It's not as bad as I was thinking it should be.

The cards

Tarot card is something that my parents disslike but then something they disslike is something that make me wanna know more about. I went to a old lady that was looking like a real old lady that known everything.

Sure it cost some to get time with her but then money isn't something that I have to little off. This was an adventure for me and was awesome. Even that she was looking at me as she draw card by card.

Something in wasn't making her to happy but I paid her to tell me everything good some bad. She talked about my past, my parents, my present and it was exacly as it was. She also said that my parents haven't told me the hole story about what is going on around me atm and that wasn't something I haven't got a feeling off anyway.

My future was a bit that she seems to be worried about. She couldn't really say it was good or bad, but that I will have diffrent roads to take depending on what I choose to do. I will meet four guys that want me to follow them over the sea, they will make me follow them even if I choose it or not. They don't want me harm, but it will change my life.

This will not happen today but soon. My parents will not agree to this and will try to stop it, if you choose to follow the road my parents want me to go it will end up in a totaly diffrent path. Both are good but to choose one over the other will be hard. I should think of my choice before take the path.

One path will make me cut off from my parents, I will have a free will and get a new family that will make sure I will be okay. It will be a adventure itself.

The other path will make me boundto my parents and I will live after thier rules. This path isn't bad in anyway. When I turn 18 years old I will get all the info I needed.

Okay so she maybe will be right maybe she just making it up. But I can say that I do belive some of it. I am 15 years old now and if she is right I will get more questions then answers the next coming years.

But who is this four guys that will come? Will I know who they are when they do show up? What will happen to my parents if I do follow that path? Oh I don't know atm. I do know that this is something I will not tell my parents about...

We going to Spain?

This is David by the way, I like him, but I do miss my room and all my things I have at home. I want to go back home now, sure there is nothing wrong to be here in Germany but still home will always be home. And now my dad was talking about that we are going to Spain. And all I want is to go home to England again. But then I guess it's time to learn Spannish now.

I am so happy that I have it easy to learn german and now spannish.. I am thinking of learning Latin also because that is a interesting thing to know. I am thinking of school myself to a doctor when I grow up so it could be good to know Latin then.

I have to much time to do anything here so why not learn spannish and latin while I having boring anyway?

Anna

I meet a girl and Anna was her name. She was all the things my parents was against. Dark, evil and more a animal then human but she was fun. I must add that I haven't got to many friends and more enemies then I can count atm, but I do add my friends here because is all that matters.

When I'm school I have the ability to make more kids pissed off then happy to see me, I don't know why. I end up in 2-3 fights per day and atm I starting to get really good at them. To hit and win the fights. The girls try to be mean to me and the guys trying to kick and hit me, but I don't care and they all loose.

I meet Anna when I was out one day and she wasn't a person that wanted to fight and she was more like me and enjoyed the fights just to get a chance to kick back. We was talking about how nice it was to feel something break. Okay I am not that wierd as it sounds atm but yeah what can I say. To win a fight rules.

Party Time

Party time! My parents have invited thier friends over for a party. I guess that it's around 40 people that comming. They even bought me a new dress, they wanted me to wear a pink and yellow one. OMG no... So after a long yes-no chat I got a green one. I like dark clothes but they wanted me to have a color on me that wasn't black, so then it was green that would be the color.

My mum have fixed so much food it could get hole africa to stop starving, and it was just for this party. I guess that we will have leftovers for many days after this.

I meet a lot of friends to my parents I never seen and they haven't seen me before, but everyone seems to know about me. The feeling I got was that all where there to see me, not to talk to me and soo but to see me. I was feeling like an art exhibition for some reason.

Why was they there to see me, what have I missed this time. Comments I heard was "Oh, so this is Maria", "Finnaly I have seen her", "She is exacly as I supose she would be", "This girl will make a good expression on the elders"...

Elders who? what? I feel so out of the loop atm. What are they talking about.

I find my parents and asked them and they know what all was talking about but they was saying it wasn't something I had to care about atm, in time I would know.

Okay... Should I be scared?

Broken nose

I am still in Germany and no I am not converting my blog to german... But I can say that I have no problems with understand what they saying over here. I even getting use to walk on stone floor. But I am happy that this place have internet and technologic so I am still feeling like a human. I would die If I would stay here whitout my laptop.

I am still going in shool here and have got in trouble as always. There was 4 guys that was going to fight me because I wasn't like them, but it was okey, the guys here isn't that hard as they look. I got a broken nose but they looked worse then me. I am happy that I heal fast. My parents wasn't to have to tell my teachers that this was the "first" time I had done something like this and it would never happen again, bla bla bla, yeah they wasn't happy. But they getting good to thell this story now.

David and me has been finding ghost casles and houses to hang out in to get some times away from the real world and I am happy to have him here. He do understand how it can be to be diffrent.

Laura

One evening there was a meeting at our home, my parents told me to stay at my room and I was not allowed downstairs. Yeah this is something that do happen very often. They have thier "business meeting" 2-3 times per month and I am never supose to be there and will probably never get to hear what they do talking about.

This time a woman that said her name was Laura walk up to my room and asked what I was doing. I was at that time just reading a book, Robinson, William E. with the title: Spirit slate writing and kindred phenomena. She was suprised I was reading this kind of books but for me it's just something I read because I like it. She sat down on my bed and we was talking about what I liked and what I was thinking of the occult and magic that people saying exist or not.

She was also a beliver and we was sitting there and enjoying the others company and in a way we was feeling we known the other in a better way then just two that just meet.

After a while she looked at me and said she should go down again, she said also that I should be careful with what information I do say to diffrent people. And maybe shouldn't say to much of the things I know to my parents, just to be on the safe side.

When she stand up and walked back down I was wondering why, it was not like it all was true.. or was it? And why shouldn't I tell my parents? There is something in what and how she was saying it that made me start wondering about it all. What do she know that I don't know?

Germany travel

Burg Kriebstein, Germany.. the place to be? Yeah maybe.. I have been learning german because my parents tell me we going there to stay for 3 month and if I'm going to go to school there it could be good to know the way around it and not just be a stupid english person visiting germany..

We got a big place to stay in and it's not to bad. But they do live in a bit diffrent ways then we do. They don't dink as much tea as we but it's okay. They have no problems to understand me so that is all good. There computer class is way to easy for me, what are they doing...

Anyway got a new friend here. He is wierd like me and are not like all the other kids. We was having a good time walking around in the town. His name was David and was born here. I got to know much of the german history and it was fun to hear about it while eating ice cream. My parents was out most of the days and the school wasn't to hard and the days wasn't to long.

Much of this town was old and stone buildings. But the feeling that the spirits was there and we was scaring eachother with ghost stories so it was a crazy feeling. David want to come and visit England and I hope that could be arrange, I want to show him my town.

Btw.. Candy.. There is good candy here...

Short but not stupid

I can't understand why people can't see me as who I am. I am short for my age and maybe look younger but that's how I am and someday they sayI will be long as my age, but that I have to wait for. At the moment I look more 12 then 16 but it dosn't make my brain be that age. I have a better IQ then most of my classmates but it dosn't help me get a date.

Not that I really have a problem to look young, it's easy too look innocent and a 12 years old girl in school uniform can get out of many problems. More then a 16 years old girl would. So I am happy with who I am. I am special.

Whispering

There was a strange old man visit my parents today. He was I would say an old vise man like the one u see in old movies from tribes or something... He was wearing some old dark robe and was talking in a foreign languages I don't know. I was sitting in the stair and looked at them. I guess they had no clue I was spying on them but something told me it had something to do with me.

But then my parents do know strange people. But they was looking at my way and was whispering. I wish I would know about what. He was there for 3 hours standing in the living room and wasn't doing anything but talking to my parents all the time. After this time they was going back to english and talked about how nice the weather was and after 5min he left the house. As they moved out from the living room I manage to sneak up to my room and into bed.

When my parents come up and open the door I pretend to sleep. My mum whispers to my dad:
- Do you really think it's true?
And he answer:
- We have to wait and see...

They closed the door after them and went down again.

Now I wondering what is true.. what will happen.. when? I was to tired to worry about it then and went to sleep...

My friend Lilly

My friend that I have worked hard on to keep contact with is Lilly we have been growing up as her parents is like mine.. it's all about work.. The interesting is that even that we moves a lot we still find eachother and meet up time to time. I guess that Lilly is one of the things I planning to keep with me for the rest of my life.

She is smart and have the same intrest as me. We even have a secret letter system so we can write letters in code and then can talk about everything. She has 2 brothers and it's not always she wanna tell them everything. They are 2 and 4 years older then her and they can be a pain time to time.

Lilly is planning to become a cop when she crows up. She has always been the one breaking the rules our parents added to the list of what to do or not to do. But when she is going to be an adult she is going to be a cop, that is what she saying anyway.

I want to be a doctor or a science.. I like to help out.. and can stand blood.. I like to use machines and computers. I even have 2 computers at home and a laptop. I was thinking of getting myself a new fresh laptop with more memory so i can play more games, listen to more music and write in my blogs more. Maybe could be something..

Anyway time to write a letter to Lilly.. where ever she is today...

My Mum

My mum has always been a working woman but have always had time for me.. To make me breakfast and fix clean clothes and so..

She working at a science office and are a manager of some sort, she is like a small boss over 20 other ppl. I have been at her work 2 times and it was a diffrent place to be in.

They have a lab 7 floors under the main door there everything is steel and white. It's clean and almost like a hospital.

Last time I was there I got a chance to try to be a doctor and help them take sample on white rats. They said the rats wasnt in any danger at all and they looked okay. We was taking samples of my blood too and looked at it in a big machine and I could see my cells. That was cool.

I remember that I have been there some other times also but I was to small to understand it I guess, I was thinking it was a scary place to be at but that could just be the look of it that is really close to a hospital.

I have never really been sick in my life and have what I know never been in to a real hospital. My dad working as a science in this place so he is always under the city and my mum is on the 15th floor. When I have been sick I have always had my dad that fix that.

I was small when I was born, almost to small so my first months I was living in one of the labs where my parents work. But after that I have been okey. I know I am looking younger then my age and that can be a pain time to time but atm I have learn to live with it.

School is school

We moved again.. it's like the 12 times in 2 years, still in the same country but yeah it's not easy to make friends. I haven't got to many of them anyway and today I am not really trying to make any new.. We will just move again soon.

All my life my mum and dad has been working with there jobs and they say it's because of thier job that we are moving but I don't really belive it's just that. I guess that the fight I have been in when I was in school was also a bit of the blame. But then who knows.

I'm Maria

I am Maria and are born in UK. I am 15 years old and are not like others. I have a diffrent past and a diffrent future then normal people. But then we can discuss what normal is. I am born under the cresent moon and for some this is an importent information.

I am the only child and my parents had got the information that they couldn't get and childs so when I was born they called me thier miracle and they never said no to me when it come to what i need or want. Thats is both good and bad, when I first started in school I was thinking this was a normal thing but I couldn't get all I wanted there.

But I get all I want from my parents so I'm happy. I have my toys and computers and there is not much I can't get if I ask for it.

I have always been special.. haven't I ?

As times goes by and I grow slowley up I have always had the feeling that I am special.. I am not like the other kids. I don't know why but most of the kids has been affraid of me, okay maybe not affraid but the do keep thier distance from me and not to many have been wanted to fight with me. Not that I do search for it...

My mum has been overprotected and always told me if you feel you have trouble coming come talk to me and I will make it all go away. When I was younger she was my hero. I was a kid noone could hurt or do anything to because I had my mum that always would protect me. But hey, lets face it I am not a kid anymore.

Looking at the moon

I have always been a person that feel like its okay to be alone and have no problem to walk out to a cemetary that are not far from my home. Many nights, when my parents been working late, I have been sneaking out and walk over to a cemetary with my laptop writing small stories of what could happen if there was occult creatures that crawl up from the craves or was sneaking around in the darkness.

I meet a guy there that was some years older then me that was into the same thing. We was telling the other stories about what we was thinking of the occult creatures we wrote stories about. He was the youngest child in his family. He had 2 sisters and 3 brothers and just wanted a time for himself instead of screaming family members.

He was into vampires and I was more into ghost and werewolfs. But not the stories that was in the movies. Werewolfs had problem with silver and vampires wood. We was under many fullmoon nights laying side by side on a grave looking up on the moon and was just enjoying the silence and the company.

I meet him there 3 nights per week for 2 months but after that he disappeared... He was not online and wasnt answer my mails or anything.